Single moms have the craziest Snapchat stories.
You tap through their Snaps in the morning and its their kids at the park, their kids on a couch, random inspirational quote, their kids eating dinner…and then BOOM!
Next thing you know, she’s cheering her IPhone camera with a beer saying “kid free for the night!” and taking selfies in the full length bathroom mirror of some local dive giving her push up bra a workout.
And then, it’s right back to a Snap of her kids watching Paw Patrol eating cereal like the video right before that wasn’t just of someone doing body shots off her…wild!
Nobody goes with the flow like a single mom and sometimes that means getting their kicks off the only place they can. Sometimes that’s a minivan, but all the time that minivan is an absolute pit! Is that your gal dripping or some nasty milk leaking from a bottle? You’ll never know, but who cares when you’re balls deep in grade A MILF.
Listen, it’s a cruel world out there – obviously, they’re probably going to grow up with daddy issues. Your role as a step dad is to prepare them for the future and sometimes you have to do so with a little tough love. Sometimes that means slamming a dunk over the top of an 8-year-old kid and reminding him “I ain’t your pa”.
Dating a single mom isn’t easy, but men aren’t looking for the easy way to get through life and hot moms have their benefits. That’s why when your bros say “I don’t know how you can date single moms”, you can remind yourself with the visual imagery of her bent over a playhouse getting railed.
Truth is, all of our lives are messy. I’ve dated gals with no kids with the emotional availability of a rock. Others might see baggage, but I see unlimited fruit rolls ups.
You can’t tell me this isn’t the truth. Single moms be out dressing their toddler sons like the next generation of dipping out when the pregnancy test is positive males.
Nothing edges you like a single mom crawling off groaning “I gotta go get a bottle”. Scroll the “I Heart Hot Moms” apparel while you wait for her to hop back on.
See, this is why we love hot moms. You take her home, she’s chugging a bottle on the bed and next thing you know, you’re vacuuming cheerios from the back seat of your truck on the weekends.
Accurate. If she sends you a Snap on a Saturday night saying “Kid free!”, you better be showering and filling up the truck with gas. Your nights about to get rowdy.
People always say “why don’t you just wear a condom”. Well, Karen, I’m pinching pennies and they’re expensive when I have 14 mouths to feed!
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